Johanna (linnetbird) wrote,
Johanna
linnetbird

I want to get away from this life

I need to get away from this life

The problem is that I am myself and there are too many memories and pieces of pain that I don't know that I can ever erase

my parents are one thing
losing the person i thought was the love of my life is another
realizing that i am being a dramatist is one thing
feeling the pain just as real even if it is "fake" is another

i need to be able to love, to be able to feel okay, i need to feel happy again
it's been too long that i haven't felt happy to believe i will ever feel happy again

i can't keep living feeling like this

two roads

one to future
one to cessation

i know everyone tells me i will be okay

but i don't feel that way
ever
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